Freudian Night
by Idle-ing
Summary: Sometimes things aren't as complicated as they seem. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
1. Chapter 1

**Dedicated to my writing sis, HollowWorld! Here's your pt.1 (early) birthday present from me! ;) Love ya**

This is a three-part one-shot! Next chapter will hopefully be uploaded soon. Enjoy!

 **~o.O.o~**

Tsunade couldn't recollect how she get to where she was, but she was there _again._ For the fifth time. She laid on the bed, stripped bare, with nothing but the sharp edges of the cold air sinking into her porcelain skin. She tried to move, just like the other times, but found that she was bound onto the bed.

Then _he_ appeared from the darkness. The same mysterious man from five nights ago, too. His unkempt silver hair shimmered under the soft glow of the cold moon that shimmered into the slits of the louvred windows. He was knelt in between her legs as he carefully pushed them apart. He was silent. And the shadows that painted his face hindered her from recognising him. He couldn't be anyone she knew.

She instinctively whimpered when she felt the knob of his member tease the opening of her womanhood, slipping in and out with quick deliberation to make her wetter than she already was. Her hands found his toned upper torso and she caressed his body with questionable want. _She wanted him._ This man. This enigma.

He bent down and in one smooth motion, his entered her wet crevice, promptly filling her intimate extremities up. She gasped with delight as he lit every single nerve ending she had in her body into wildfire, and she moaned when he began to dictate the pace of her punishment.

It was as if her body was familiar to his movements, to his touches, to _him_ \- her body was taut, arched and writhing in response to his touch, to his kiss. Her fingers laced with his hair, tousling it up, as he vandalised the skin of her neck with hot kisses. His teeth scraped and his tongue tasted the canvas of her skin, with hunger unfathomable to Tsunade.

He was not just fucking her. He was eating her alive.

He pounded himself into her heat with double the speed and double the _want._ He pushed her legs further apart by her inner thighs and proceeded to rock inside her in deep, hard and slow thrusts. She couldn't properly tell, but she felt it in her gut that he was staring straight at her as he slowly worked to get her undone. A low grunt would exhale from his lips as he thrusted into her, and his abdominal muscles would clench together tightly as he tried to delay his release.

Tsunade gasped when he suddenly changed gears and hooked both of her legs over his shoulders. She swore she screamed her ecstasy as she felt his hardened member penetrate deeper into her cavern. Her hands clung onto the pillows beneath her, hanging on for dear life as he rendered her into an incomprehensible mess drugged with ecstasy.

She was getting closer to release. Just a couple more thrusts, she wanted to beg. But just as she was about to receive her gratification, everything faded away.

* * *

 _RING! RING!_

Tsunade's hand automatically reached out and dismissed her alarm. Her eyes fluttered open and she gazed around at her familiar surroundings. Nothing seemed to be misplaced nor was she in another person's bedroom. She peeked under the covers and saw that she was - indeed - _clothed._ With a soft sigh, she came to the same conclusion she has had for the fifth time.

It was all a dream.

There was a sudden shift in the bed beside her and one strong around locked around her waist, reeling her into his body. "G'Morning," he gruffly murmured against her ear.

"Good morning," she smiled and turned her head slightly to press a small kiss on her lover's face. She turned back around and snuggled into the covers, relishing the heat that was emanating from him. He was a big man, so he was a very good source of heat when winter came. And his thick, muscular arms proved to be great assets for cuddling. He was her bear. But just like a bear, he was a heavy sleeper.

"I've got to get up," she whispered, trying to peel his hand off her body. When his grip didn't ease up, she playfully slapped his arm to wake him up. "Jiraiya, I need to go."

"Stay," he said, tightening his hold around her waist. "We can stay like this the whole day."

"I would love to, but I've got training at the hospital."

"You're always working."

"Same goes to you. We're both busy people."

"That's why you need to stay here today. We can catch up." He smirked against her neck as his hand slipped under her oversized t-shirt. "We can catch up like we used to." His dark eyes were now twinkling with mischief.

Tsunade bit her lip in contemplation. They haven't had sex in months because of their hectic schedules. It often ended with one of them arriving home when the other one was already asleep. And it was often her who arrived the latest. He was right - they did need to _catch_ up. God knows she was aching to catch up with him. Her legs rubbed together as she felt a dull ache in between her legs; she was getting wet just thinking about him being hard, being _inside_ of her.

Is this why she has been having lucid sex dreams? Was she _that_ sex-deprived?

Jiraiya was already grinding himself against her rear, making damn sure that she felt him. "Can you feel me, Tsunade?" Her whimper made him grin. "Don't go, alright? There are other training days. Who cares if you miss this one?"

Tsunade bit into her knuckles as she tried to contain herself. She wanted this so badly, but she couldn't find it in herself to neglect her duties. She has always prided herself as a diligent doctor. Whether or not that was a blessing or a curse, she didn't know, but she has started to believe that it was more of the latter. Her work ethic was stopping her from enjoying the sweet fruits of sex, and that rubbed her the _wrong_ way.

"N-N-No," she weakly protested, "I've got to go to work."

"Don't leave me like this, Princess," he breathed, clutching harder.

" _Jiraiya!_ " She sternly snapped.

"Alright, alright." His hands retreated from her and he sat up on the bed, resting his back on the headboard. "You could try to put in some effort some time, you know? We barely have time for each other as it is."

Tsunade scooted to the end of the bed with her back facing him. She didn't want to look over her shoulder because she already knew that he was pouting. Her shoulders sagged in defeat. She was weary of having the same fight every now and then. It was always a clash between Jiraiya and her job. She loved both, and as much as she wanted to equally invest her time between the two, she knew that it was impossible.

"I'll see you tonight," she said, locking her hair into a messy bun. She walked over her wardrobe and retrieved her uniform. After staying silent for a few more minutes, she finally looked back at her quiet lover. "What is it, Jiraiya?"

"By tonight, you mean midnight. And we both know that we won't be _seeing_ each other by then."

"Well, what do you want me to do?" she asked, throwing her hands up in air in disbelief. "Do you want to me to quit my job, so we can spend all day just rolling around in bed? Is that it?"

"Of course not! Do not put words in my mouth. I just want you to find time for _us._ For the past few months, it has always been hospital this, hospital that. I just want to spend time with you, Tsunade, that's all."

"I want that, too! But, as of now, we can't! You're busy, I'm busy. We both agreed that we'll put our careers first until we reach a comfortable space. We're getting there! We just need a little more patience." She leaned against her wardrobe and huffed. "I just want you to understand how _important_ this job is to me."

Jiraiya ripped the sheets off of him and glared straight at her. "Yeah, I know. It's more important than me," he said coldly as he walked towards the bedroom door.

"Don't be like this, Jiraiya!" She tried to reach out for him, but he had already closed the door on her. She clicked her tongue and shook her head. Today was like every other day - she started it with an argument with Jiraiya. She looked at the time, realising that she had already wasted ten minutes of her time, and hurried towards their ensuite.

* * *

As expected, she was a couple of minutes late for her training, but she thankfully had a soft-hearted matron who forgave her tardiness after she profusely apologised. But that wasn't the hardest part - it was came next. Her training was a gruelling seven hours long, with nothing but a short break in between. She wasn't able to take a seat until her lunch-date with Orochimaru in the city.

She was late for that meeting, too.

Her heels echoed along with her hurried footsteps as she paced through the bustling city sidewalks. She hastily jostled past a couple of strangers before she finally arrived at her rendezvous with Orochimaru.

"Hey, Oro," she greeted with a meek smile as she took her seat adjacent to his. She opened the menu and marvelled at the outside terrace that was set near a canal in the heart of the city, adopting an edgy nautical aesthetic to it. It was as Mediterranean as it got. Orochimaru sure knew how to pick them.

"You're a bit late, Tsunade," he noted as he took as sip of his water.

"I'm really sorry. My training took longer than expected and there was traffic in the main road." She looked exhausted just reliving the journey it took her to get here. "I'm just wondering how long it will take me to get back to the hospital at this point."

Orochimaru's eyebrows knitted together. "You have to go back?"

"Yeah. I have to do my shift, which runs until midnight." She sagged against her chair and exasperatedly sighed. "I don't think I can do this, you know. Not after my little argument with Jiraiya."

"Oh, no. Are you having trouble in paradise _again_?"

She pinched the bridge of her nose and inhaled before letting out a prolonged exhale, to relax herself. "We have been fighting about work…. _again._ He keeps insisting that I find time for the both of us, but I just can't do that! My schedule is full; we even had to reschedule this lunch four times because of my hectic shifts! But he just refuses to understand that!"

"I can't blame him if he just wants to spend time with you."

"I understand that, too! But he needs to be more sympathetic of my circumstance; I _can't_ just abandon my work for him. I'll get fired for that! I mean, I was supportive when he made it as an author! I didn't complain when he didn't come home for weeks because he had a book tour. I understood him. I don't understand why he can't understand me."

A waitress approached them with the same scripted smile every single staff wore. "Have you decided on what you're having?" she chirped at Tsunade, with the pencil nib already pressed against the pad of paper she had.

"Yeah… I'll have the menu-of-the-day: chicken breast." She looked up from her menu with a frown. "W-What's in it?"

"It has sautéed kale with anchovies, fennel seeds, pickles and hazelnuts." She automatically spoke, speaking fluidly like a well-trained machine, programmed to recite with perfection.

"Yeah. O-Okay, I'll try that." Tsunade handed the menu back to the waitress.

"And what drink will you be having, ma'am?"

"Just water, please."

"Right away." She bowed and swiftly left them alone.

Orochimaru shook his head. "Do you even know what you ordered?"

"Of course! I ordered…. chicken breast with…...whatever she said."

"Anchovies, fennel seeds, pickles and hazelnuts," he repeated with perfection. "You don't even like anchovies, and you especially hate pickles."

"Well, I wanted to try something new," she replied. "What's wrong with that?"

" _Everything._ You trying something 'new' is always disastrous, especially when we both know that you're _already_ regretting ordering this dish."

"Maybe this might taste nice," she said, trying hard to convince herself more than she was convincing Orochimaru.

"Your funeral."

"So, how have you been?" Tsunade cleared her throat as she smoothly changed the direction of their conversation. "I'd imagine being a shrink has made you half-insane."

"You can't become insane when you're already born insane," he deadpanned, smirking sharply at her when she pulled a face. He knew her look all too well; she has been giving him the same expression since elementary. He has irked her out with his humour again, leaving her somewhat bemused.

"Glad to know your humour is as special as ever," she quipped with a small smile of endearment.

"It's the only ageless aspect about me. These days, people are too far up their ass that they don't appreciate humour."

"That's because your humour can come off as tactless to others, especially to those who haven't…. _embraced_ you for you." She crossed her arms on the table and leaned in. "Good thing Kabuto hasn't grown tired of you yet. He's the one who can keep up with your personality, that's for sure."

Orochimaru rubbed the back of his neck and drew in a sharp exhale through his teeth. "About Kabuto…"

Tsunade's eyes widened, "You _didn't!_ Don't tell me you broke up with him."

"Huh? What? No, no! I am not stupid to do such a thing." He leaned in closer to her and slid his hand onto her arm. "I was wondering if you could be a witness to our wedding. You know, in the Registration Office by 55th Avenue."

"Of course!" Tsunade beamed as she placed her hand over his. "Just tell me the date, okay? I'll try to squeeze you guys in my schedule. So, when are you going to pop the question?"

"Tonight…. _maybe_. That's why I wanted to talk to you." He scrambled for his bag and grabbed the velvet box containing the engagement ring. He passed it over to Tsunade to inspect. "It's a meteorite, titanium engagement ring. I know Kabuto likes simplistic objects, and this was the only one that truly fit his nature. What do you think?"

Tsunade fiddled with the ring in her hands, with a soft smile touching her features. She choked a small sob before she wiped the tiny tears away from her eyes. "I think…. you're a fool." Her smile grew wider as she held his hand again. "A _lucky_ fool. Kabuto will love this." She handed him the ring back and continued to sniff her tears away.

"You're awfully sentimental about rings." He chuckled as he snapped the box closed. "You never know, Jiraiya may also be thinking of proposing to you soon."

She mustered another smile, but this one was less genuine than the one before - a saddened smile she often wore as a façade. "We're thirty-three years old, Orochimaru."

"I'm failing to see the correlation. There is no age restriction on marriages. Have you seen the leader of the Land of Lightning? The damn fool is pushing to his seventies and he just married his _fifth_ wife! There's hope for everyone."

"That may be the case, but I…."

"Want to start a family?"

She nodded. "That's why I'm working so damn hard to get to a good place for the both of us, where we can finally talk about having a family again. But Jiraiya is resisting and I can't understand why. We're in a better place than we were five years ago! I can't believe he wanted to have children then, but isn't fond of the idea now."

Orochimaru ran his fingers through his thick, raven locks and sighed wearily on her behalf. "That fucking idiot."

"I left Dan for him. I left him because I thought Jiraiya was the one I could have a future with. But with everything that's been happening between us - the petty fights, the restless nights, the constant miscommunications - I just can't see it getting better any time soon."

"Do you want to hear my two cents on this?"

"Please," she implored with a sag of her shoulders. She was truly desperate to find a resolution to her problems, even if that meant beseeching for Orochimaru's advice. God knows that this man was a wicked one, but she truly trusted his wisdom.

"I think your relationship is going nowhere because you're both resisting from both sides - you're pushing right, he's pushing left. This causes tension in the middle, which is the root of your problems."

"So, what should we do?"

"One of you will have to take the initiative to put down the rope and to let the other person pull without restraints."

She frowned. "W-What?"

"I know you're busy with your work Tsunade. I also know how much you _love_ your work, but if you want things to work with Jiraiya, I think you should put that love aside for a while and focus your heart on him. That should ease your problems for a while. This could also open up an opportunity for you to talk about your future - what you want from him, and what he wants from you."

"I guess…." She looked at her watch. "He is at home right now, but he's busy with his own work. I also have to clock back in soon."

"Miss it, Tsunade. Come on. You have never missed a day of work since you graduated from Med school! I think having a little slip up won't hurt your reputation. It's for Jiraiya. You love him, don't you?"

"Of course I do!" she said in a peevish voice. "Do you even need to ask?"

"Then put him above your work. _Show_ him how much you love him."

She huffed in defeat. "Alright."

"Here are your orders - today's special: chicken and our chef's speciality: capellini. Enjoy!"

"Thank you." Both Orochimaru and Tsunade smiled as they reached for their cutleries.

Upon her first bite, she grimaced at the potency of the anchovies in her dish. She wouldn't have guessed that it would be a dominant ingredient. But she wasn't going to let her companion gleefully mock her for this, so she quietly regretted her decision as she forced herself to take each bite.

"I have never seen a person look so disgusted with their meal," Orochimaru casually remarked as he wiped his lips with a tissue. "You don't have to eat it, Tsunade. Don't force yourself."

She drank her glass of water to force herself to swallow. And with a victorious smirk, she slammed her glass down and guffawed at her unsuspecting companion. She was only forcing herself to eat every single piece because she was a petty _girl_ who wanted to prove Orochimaru wrong. For better or for worst, things truly haven't changed between them.

"Sometimes, I wonder how someone as beautiful as yourself, can lack etiquette." Orochimaru gracefully twirled his pasta around his fork and delicately placed it in his mouth.

"Stop eating your food like that," she said with disgust. "It's like I'm watching porn."

"Was that a compliment?" he ruggedly smirked, taking another slow bite into his meal. This time, he purposely maintained eye contact with her, and he even wriggled his eyebrows to tease her even more. "Kabuto also told me that I was good with my mouth."

"Oh-kay, that's my appetite gone." She threw her fork back onto her plate and reached for a napkin to clean herself up.

"I'm only joking, Tsuna. Well, _half_ joking."

"For a man who complains about my sexual jokes, you sure like making it known to people that you're great at blowjobs."

"It's an artform I'm proud of. You can't tell me that you don't feel a sense of pride in your skills when you see Jiraiya come undone as you take him for all he's got."

That was true, Tsunade thought. She had always taken pleasure in hearing Jiraiya lose his composure as she twirled her tongue around the head of his dick. The memory of Jiraiya bucking his hips tightly when she sucked his length nice and slow, made her smile faintly. Just thinking about her man like that was also making her come undone.

"Hey, Orochimaru…"

"Hm?" He looked up from his plate and raised a brow. "What is it?"

"You interpret dreams, right?"

"That's one way of summarising my profession. I perform psychoanalysis on my patients, to be exact."

"Yeah, _that._ How accurate are your interpretations?"

"Well, before we do talk about dreams and such, we first have to discuss about the stressors they may have in life. Once I have acquired all of the necessary insight I need, I will ask them about the possible dreams they may be having. I then try to link their dreams with the problems they are currently facing. The process of psychoanalysis is making the unconscious _conscious._ "

"Right…."

"We believe that in our waking hours, our desires are locked away because they are not aligned with our society's standards - this is the _id_. But these desires can poison our dreams, because this is the only way it can be expressed."

"Okay…"

"Have you been having weird dreams?"

Tsunade sheepishly looked away. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Why are you looking away?"

"I keep having the same dream, you know?" She leaned in closer so she could be more discrete with what she was about to say. "I've been dreaming about having sex…. with another man - a _complete_ stranger!"

"And in this dream, is it all…. consensual?"

"I… think so. I mean, I never said 'no' nor did I feel like I was being forced. The thing that irks me out the most is that I am _desiring_ this _stranger_ in those dreams. In all of my dreams, I have always desired this man. Not once did I protest. Not once did I think it was wrong. But when I wake up - next to Jiraiya - I can't help but feel guilty. W-What is this dream supposed to be telling me? Is it telling me that I am subconsciously looking for someone else? Am I not attracted to Jiraiya, anymore? Does this make me a bad person?"

"Relax, Tsunade. It doesn't make you a bad person. From the things you've told me, this dream could just signify you wanting something new in the relationship. It could mean that you want to do something you have never done before with Jiraiya. This doesn't have to be in a sexual manner, by the way. It could be anything."

"That makes sense. Things have been stale between me and Jiraiya."

"This is just a textbook interpretation, Tsunade. Don't think that what I'm saying is the truth."

"Excuse me for a moment." Tsunade pulled her chair out and quickly grabbed her purse. "I need to tell the hospital that I can't make it to my shift. Oh, and you are going shopping with me afterwards."

"What?"

"I need to pick up some new lingerie."

"Oh, I am not going to be part of your sexcapade with Jiraiya."

"You already are. You trapped yourelf when you encouraged me to blow off work. So, buckle up, Orochimaru, you're going to come with me whether you like it or not."

* * *

After a few hours of prowling the streets in the city for the perfect lingerie set, Tsunade finally arrived home. To make sure that she was going to surprise Jiraiya, she parked in the street before their apartment complex. She looked at the lingerie and the sexy designer black stiletto heels, with the red sole, she bought, already feeling giddy inside. She could just imagine the look on Jiraiya's face when she walks into his office in this scantily-clad outfit. But he was always a perverted man, so he'll get pleasure seeing her like this.

After all, the book that propelled Jiraiya onto the map contained scenes from their sex life. The infamous sex-in-an-open-balcony in the book was inspired by their lecherous adventures. They had initially come out into the balcony to oversee the parade in the streets, but they didn't end up paying attention to it in the end. Instead, they created their own show for those fortunate enough to look up at the seventh floor of their hotel.

They had a streak of _public_ _affection_ back at the start of their relationship. But, recently, with their overwhelming workload and dedication to their respective fields, they have started to neglect their love for each other. Of course, Tsunade was aware of the growing distance between them, but they both agreed that they would grow _together._ This distance was necessary for them to become who they wanted to be - Jiraiya to be a bestseller, and Tsunade to be a vaunted surgeon in her field.

Today was the day that they will build a bridge over that chasm between them - she was going to rock his world until his thoughts will be saturated with nothing but _her._ That way, he could get laid _and_ have new inspirations for the upcoming sequel he was working on. If that wasn't a double-win for him, she didn't know what was.

She fastened her Burberry trench coat closed and hopped out of her car. She had everything to make her lover's world go insane.

* * *

She tiptoed into her apartment and promptly made her way to the downstairs bathroom. The apartment was awfully quiet, she realised, but that was often the case when Jiraiya was consumed by his work. Maybe he had broken out of his writer's block?

She quietly locked the bathroom door behind her and divested herself from her clothes. She lathered her cream canvas with lotion and sprayed her new perfume all over herself before she slipped into her strappy lace lingerie set, and hooked her stockings to her suspender belt.

She gazed at her sultry reflection and giggled. She was getting excited to show him this new outfit, since he was always fond of her wearing lacy thongs and strappy bras. She could just about imagine that slanted smirk he would always when he was feeling perverted. It has been _months_ since Jiraiya has looked at her with such desire, and she was craving for his validation. He was her source of confidence, after all.

She fixed her hair and touched up on her makeup. But instead of her signature nude lipstick, she painted her lips in a daring dark berry colour. She was going to make damn sure that she was going to leave a mark on him, to make him remember this day.

After slipping into her heels, she covered her outfit with her trench coat. As she teetered through the living room, she couldn't help but notice that there were a bouquet of roses laid on the coffee table. On the couch was a black box out of its sleeve. She opened it and gasped at the sterling reflection of the diamond necklace that was inside.

Was he going to surprise her tonight? She smiled and hurriedly locked the necklace around her neck. Well, she could just surprise him right now. He was no stranger in giving her jewelry to wear during their intimate moments. It was that sense of entitlement over her that aroused him. She was _his._ And she validated that point by adorning the expensive jewelry he lavished her with.

Once she made it up the stairs, she peeked into his office, hoping she would catch him behind his desk. That way, it would be easy to get down on him. But she found the premises to be empty. She leaned against the doorframe and frowned. Ever since Jiraiya quit his job as a college professor, he began to predominantly work from his home, and Tsunade has always pictured him hunched over, tapping away at his keyboard.

The thought of him doing anything else besides burying himself in books often elapsed her mind. She couldn't see him doing anything else but that. Her eyes traced over to the typewriter in the corner of the room. Jiraiya was old-fashioned when it came to writing and he would often choose a typewriter over his desktop, preferring the clunky and mechanical feel of the keys against his finger strokes instead of the modern tactile keys.

She knew that this was the perfect gift for him as soon as she saw it behind the window of an antique shop. There was something about punching at the keys and hearing the iron hammer pounding at the black inky ribbon to mark the crisp white paper that made the experience of writing more encapsulating. Surely enough, he used that same typewriter to finish his most successful book.

The apartment was quiet, cavernous. Its emptiness unnerved Tsunade. Maybe he was catching his sleep in their bedroom, so he could wait for her arrival at midnight?

When she opened the door, she caught Jiraiya sitting on the edge of the bed, in nothing but his jogging pants. His head snapped up when she entered, but he didn't give her that warm smile he would always give her when she surprised him. Instead, he looked rather displeased and wary that she was there. "T-Tsunade. I thought you had work."

"I did." She placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back down on the bed, so she could straddle his lap. "But then I remembered how much I loved you." She locked her arms around his neck and drew him in for a passionate kiss, one that they haven't had in months. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and overwhelmed his senses when she dominated him. He tasted of wine and cigarettes, which was odd. Not only was it the middle of the day, but Jiraiya rarely smoked.

She shook her head from her thoughts. She could ask him about it later.

"I'm sorry about this morning, my love," she whispered as she leaned her forehead against his, "I know that we haven't been connecting these past few months, and that you're trying really hard to find moments for us. I truly appreciate it."

He cradled her face and kiss her on the cheek. "Don't worry about it, Princess. I understand that you love your work. I'm also sorry for being selfish."

"And to show you just how much I love you, I decided to give you a surprise." She unbuckled her trench coat and rolled it off her shoulders, revealing her seductive outfit underneath. "All lace. Just the way you like it," she whispered in his ear with a smirk.

"Oh, wow…." His eyes gaped as his mouth hang low. "Yo-You're so sexy, Tsunade."

"And I'm all yours, Jira." She tried to kiss him again, but he was quick to draw away.

"This necklace…" Jiraiya traced his fingers around it. "W-Where did you get it?"

"Downstairs. In the living room. I know you were going to surprise me, but I wanted to wear it for you now. What do you think? Does it look good on me?" She asked, purposely flaunting her lace-clad chest at him, which was decorated with the jewelry he had bought.

"Y-Y-Yeah… it's good." He cleared his throat and gently pushed her off his lap. "Hey, why don't we take this to another room? To my office, maybe?"

"Why?"

"To have a little fantasy going on." He smirked. "You know, a bit of role-play? We could pretend that you're a sexy secretary and I'm your boss. Hm? Doesn't that sound nice?" He grabbed her by her ass before he pulled her in for a rougher kiss. "We can fuck on my desk, on my chair. It's hotter."

"Okay…" she replied, half-smiling. "Whatever you want."

"You mean it?"

"Y-Yes.."

"Then…?" he grinned softly. "Will you do what we've talked about before?"

"Jira…" she looked away for a moment before conceding. "All right. Okay. I'll give it a go, but if it gets too painful, you need to promise that you will stop."

"I promise." He kissed her on her shoulder before he spanked her ass. "You go ahead, Princess. I'm just going to get ready."

"Get ready? Jiraiya, come on. Just come with me."

"No, no. Let me get ready. I need to fit the role I'm about to play."

"Okay, fine. I'm just going to get some condoms."

Just as she was about to walk to the other side of the bed, to her side, Jiraiya apprehended her. "I'll go get it. Just go."

"Why are you acting weird?"

"I-I-I'm not."

"I'm just getting condoms. Relax." She pushed past him and walked over to her bedside table. She had always been surprisingly strong that Jiraiya's grip would often underestimate her force.

Jiraiya palmed his face and sighed. "Tsuna…listen…."

She stopped when she looked down at the floor, finding scattered pieces of clothing that didn't belong to her. She bent to lift an unfamiliar white lace material - thin, cheap, worn panties. It dangled almost mockingly on her fingers. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, as her vision narrowed and blurred at the pair of panties she was holding.

 _This couldn't be happening,_ she said to herself. _These aren't real._ She released it from her fingers and watched it fall on the floor, mingling with the heaps of clothing that weren't hers - a pair of jeans that were exaggeratedly ripped, and a shirt of a rock-and-roll band she wasn't familiar with. And on the knob of her bedside drawer was a mismatched bra. A B-cup at most. Most certainly not hers.

Her breath caught for a moment as her mind froze. Even though the pieces of the puzzle were right in front of her, she couldn't piece them together. Or, rather, she refused to. She had the urge to throw up, then the courage to hit her lover until he was bruised, but she stood still amidst the pool confusion.

Everything has to be a mistake! That pair of underwear was actually hers. _No, they were too cheap, too small._ These clothes must be a mix up at the gym. _But she doesn't get changed at the gym._ Jiraiya must have found this while he was cleaning out the room. These must be from the previous owners. _But she has been living here for eight years. She has cleaned out every crevice of this apartment years ago._

So, what was left? Did Jiraiya have a confession? Did he like wearing panties and bras while she was out? It has to be something else beside the soft whisper her inner voice was chanting in her ear.

 _He cheated._

She clenched her jaw as she whipped around to her lover. "W-What…" Tears clouded her eyes and her words ran dry in her throat. "No…" _Please tell me that this was a mistake. Tell me that, and I'll believe you._

"Tsunade, I'm sorry." The look of remorse - of guilt - on Jiraiya's face confirmed everything Tsunade was trying to deny.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: This is not an update. Most of my readers felt that I should have cut the chapter into two, so that's what I did. I hope it's less strenuous to read now! :)_

* * *

She took several steps back to avoid his touch. "No! No! Don't you dare come closer." She looked back down at the pile of clothes and looked around the room. Her senses were roiling now, with molten lava spreading out and filling every extremity of her fibres. It built up until she felt she was going to explode. "Where is she, Jiraiya?" She needed to do something, to hit something, hurt something. _Anything_ to let her vent.

"Please -"

" _Where the fuck is she?!"_ Her eyes darted over to the ensuite bathroom, and given how pale Jiraiya's face got, she knew that the whore was hiding in there. Just as she was about to sprint to the door, Jiraiya stopped her and placed his hand over the doorknob. "Get out of the way, Jiraiya!" She tried to shove him away, but this time, he didn't underestimate her strength. He planted his feet firmly on the ground and resisted her.

"Please, Tsunade, let's talk about this downstairs."

" _Talk?!_ Talk about what, you bastard?! Talk about how you just fucked another woman in _our_ bed?" She then ripped the necklace off from her neck and threw it at him. "That was not meant for me, was it? It was meant for _her_! For that little bitch hiding in the bathroom!" She aggressively rapped against the door without much thought. At this point, she was far from rationality and niceties. "I know you're in there! How does it feel ruining a relationship apart, you whore?!"

"Tsunade!" Jiraiya pulled her away from the door. "Stop being like this."

"Stop being like what?!" she snapped. "How do you expect me to act, huh? Should I offer her a cup of coffee for fucking you behind my back?! I'm sorry, I should buy her roses and a diamond necklace for sucking your dick - Oh, wait, _you already have!"_

"Tsuna…"

"Get out of my way." Tsunade stormed past him and slipped back into her coat.

"Tsunade, don't go. No, wait! Princess!" He chased her down the stairs and pulled her back when he intercepted her in the living room. His arms, those fucking arms she thought protected her from anything in this world, imprisoned her. "I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Tsunade blinked her hot tears away. There was time for that later. She refused to let this bastard see her cry. "This wasn't a one-off deal, Jiraiya. You buying her flowers and an expensive necklace means this wasn't a one-time thing! How long has this been happening?"

"It's been…"

She pushed him away." _How long?!"_

"Six months… during my book tour."

Tsunade gasped in disbelief as she clawed her fingers into her head. "Six months?!" she vociferated as she paced around in their living room. She stifled back the urge to sob. How could she not have noticed this?

"But, I swear, she's nothing compared to you!"

She snorted in disbelief. "Stop your bullshit, Jiraiya!" Ever since she caught him red-handed, he hasn't even tried to utter out anything genuine. Everything he said sounded like a script from a play. But this wasn't a play. This was their life!

"Tsunade, don't leave. Please. Let's talk." He began to approach her again.

"Talk? Alright, let's talk!" She swiftly evaded his touch and leaned against the wall. "Let's talk about how you made me feel like shit because I wasn't focusing on our relationship. Let's talk about how you were just fucking another woman upstairs, but you were also willing to fuck me right after her!"

"I…"

"What were you going to do, Jiraiya? Send me to your office and then let her sneak out? Or were you going to just keep going between rooms, taking turns between me and her? What? You said you wanted to talk, so let's talk!"

"I love you." His voice was strained but it was deliberate. He said it slowly to make sure she heard how genuine he was.

Tsunade's lips pursed and her eyes tightened when unsuspecting tears clouded her vision again. Her heart felt heavy with pain; it felt like it was going to burst at any moment. Every inch of her body grew unsteady with untamed emotions. She didn't know what to do without the fear of falling apart. She shook her head as she submitted and quietly sobbed.

Jiraiya wiped her tears for her and kissed her on her forehead. "I'm sorry I hurt you." He kissed her on her reddened cheeks. "I won't do it again. I promise." He angled her face to him and he leaned in for her lips. In her moment of weakness, she allowed him to kiss her. His lips were tender and they were warm enough to melt her defences away. He cupped her cheeks so delicately as he deepened his kiss on her lips, so longingly, so desperately in need to rectify his sins.

" _No!"_ She yelled, slapping him away. "You can't just kiss me and tell me you love me, to make things all better again! If you loved me then you wouldn't have seeked out another woman, in the first place." She wiped the evidence of their kiss off with the back of her hand, evidently disgusted by his audacity.

"I was lonely, Tsunade! You were barely here, and when you were, your mind was always somewhere else. I…. needed someone - and _you_ weren't there."

"Oh, so it's my fault that you became a filthy cheater?! It's _my_ fault?!"

She grabbed the wine bottle on the coffee table and threw it against the wall Jiraiya was beside, purposefully missing him by a margin. The bottle loudly crashed into a myriad of fragments, and rivulets of red splayed all across the floor and stained the cream wallpaper. Jiraiya managed to avoid the glass shards by ducking to the side. When he snapped his head up at Tsunade, he saw her seething with more anger than before.

" _Don't you fucking turn this on me!"_ She screamed, jabbing her finger at him. "I stayed loyal to you, I didn't cheat on you! You know why, Jiraiya? Because I _loved_ you! God, you were _everything_ to me!"

Jiraiya got onto his knees and hugged her legs. "Please, please, please, Tsunade. Give me a second chance. I'll change! Don't you worry. I'll change. I can't imagine my life without you, my love."

Tsunade shook her head as she peeled his hands away from her. "You should have thought about that before you broke my trust. I wasn't the one who broke this relationship, Jiraiya, you were." She pushed him away before she sank down on the couch. "Out of all the people I have met, I thought that you were the only person who could never hurt me. That's why I left Dan for you. That's why I left _everything_ for you! My integrity, my relationship with my family, _everything!_ I thought that by walking out of that engagement party, I would be making the right decision!"

"You did! You did!" He knelt down in front of her and enveloped her hands with his. "We're meant to be together, Tsunade."

"You're delusional if you still think that's true! You broke my heart, Jiraiya." Her lips trembled as she felt a second wave of tears threatening to break through her barrier. She hated seeing him like this, groveling at her feet, pleading for her to stay. But she couldn't bring herself to take him back. "You… _hurt_ me," she whispered as a set of tears streamed down her porcelain face.

"I know, I know." He kissed her hands as he began to sob. "I made a mistake, Tsuna. I'm sorry."

"A mistake?" she repeated in disgust. "Jiraiya, a mistake would be getting another person's attention because you mistook them for someone else. Having sex with another woman _isn't_ a mistake. Unless, I don't know, she asked for your penis - for god knows what - and you _mistakenly_ put it inside her!"

"I…."

"I've got to get out of this place. I can't even look at you right now." She shifted off from the sofa and grabbed her purse.

"No, don't go!"

"I am _not_ staying in the same building as that woman!"

Just then, she heard faint footsteps up at the stairs. She stomped to the landing and made eye contact with the other woman. Instead of finding rage, she found disbelief. "What…" She looked back at Jiraiya. "Your _student_?! You had sex with your student?!" To be exact, the same student who outwardly expressed her love for Jiraiya's works, the same student who had dinner with them a couple of months ago, the same student Jiraiya reassured Tsunade to not be worried about. _She's not my type,_ he would say. How stupid of her to believe him. Of course she would still be his type. She had a vagina. That's all it takes to catch his attention.

She was petite, like Tsunade envisioned her to be, but she was more beautiful than she thought. Her hair was red like the autumn leaves, and her eyes were as blue as the ocean. She was a perfectly sculpted doll, Tsunade always thought she was. No wonder Jiraiya couldn't keep his fidelity. A beautifully wicked girl like her was enough to have Jiraiya wrapped around her finger.

"Tsunade -" was all she managed to say until she met her fearsome eyes, now glowering into a molten hue of anger. After taking a small breath, she attempted to step down the stairs to try to confront the angered woman. "Please listen -"

"Take one more step towards me and I will do something I'll undoubtedly regret." Her voice was as cold as ice, but her glare was as ferocious as wildfire. "I'm not about to waste my time on someone as low as you." She turned around and barged past Jiraiya, who failed to stop her this time.

"Tsunade, wait!"

"I want you gone by tomorrow morning, Jiraiya. I want you and your whore out of _my_ apartment! If I see any of your belongings here by tomorrow, I will throw it all out of the window."

"Where will I stay?"

"I don't know and I don't care." She stopped and turned around with a small sneer on her face, "Here's a thought, stay at her place. Oh wait, she still lives in her parent's house! But that's not my problem, Jiraiya. _You_ have stopped being my problem since you made a fool out of me."

"You can't leave just wearing a coat, Tsunade! Just stay here and we can talk."

"I'd rather freeze to death than have to look at your despicable face for another second. And why should you care that I'm going out like this? Maybe somebody else can appreciate me."

"Don't do this to me, Tsunade."

"What I do is no longer your business."She dried her tears when she finally found her composure again. "I want you gone, you hear?" she said, this time not looking back at the man she once declared her love.

* * *

With the remaining strength that she had, she fumbled for her keys to her car and she crashed into the driver's seat. She leaned back and began to frantically shake her head. Her vision was shifting and tilting from the adrenaline she had pumping through her veins. "This can't be happening…. This can't be happening…." she mumbled as she buried her face in her hands, still in disbelief at what had just transpired.

Her brain hurt as it tried to process the new reality she was forced to live in. Everything felt like it was falling apart into the dark abyss at the bottom of her feet. She felt the gravity of its pull gnawing at her, forcing her to the truth she still refused to believe in. _I'm going to wake up in a second. I know it._ She closed her eyes and welcomed the darkness.

Thoughts of Jiraiya with that student gambolled in her brain, as if they were mocking her stupidity and gullibility to trust someone like Jiraiya. She was aware of his liberal ways in life, especially when it came to sex, but she thought it true in her heart that he would change for her. It was now stupid to think that _she_ would be enough to change a man like him.

She didn't know what to do. What could she do? Didn't she say that they were over? But she didn't want them to be over. She didn't want to let go of Jiraiya. But at the same time, she knew she couldn't forgive him. So, how was this going to pan out? Was she going to forgive and forget, but never trust again?

Her brain then flitted through images of Jiraiya and that _girl._ She was clawing her nails into his broad back as he violently fucked her on their bed. She was screaming in ecstasy and looking directly at her.

Tsunade whimpered weakly as she was flooded with more images in her mind. Images of Jiraiya kissing her, intertwining his fingers into her auburn hair. Of his tongue tracing every speck of her skin, tasting every inch of her. A searing pain weltered itself into the depths of her heart as she imagined them fucking again. She thought of her riding her lover, of him taking her into his arms as he pounded up into her tight pussy. Their sweat-covered bodies molding so perfectly together, as if they were made for each other, made her chest tighter.

One after the other, she was mentally attacked by the images her mind concocted so intricately, down to the last particle of their bodies, until she threw in the towel and admitted her defeat. She was too emotionally drained to go against her mind, too broken to even begin to piece together the lie she wanted to live by in order to have Jiraiya back into her life.

She wiped her tears away and look into the rear view mirror, seeing the pitiful state she was in. She bent over to the glove compartment and grabbed her emergency makeup bag. With a few touch-ups to her eyes and her foundation, she looked half-complete again. She took off her smeared lipstick and coated her lips with a brown lipstick.

She grabbed her steering wheel and deliberately breathed out of her nose. _Breathe._ She told herself as she gathered her composure. _Just breathe._ The thoughts will go away once she has overcome her frenetic state, she thought.

She pulled out her phone and dialled the only person she could trust. After a few beeps over the phone, the call was picked up. "Orochimaru," she said with a crack in her voice. "Hi…"

" _Tsunade, if you're going to ask about the lingerie set again, I'm going to hang up. I've already told you a million times, it does not make you look fat!"_

"No, no. It's not that…"

" _Oh? Then, what is it about?"_

"Can I drop by for a second?" _Please._

" _But I'm preparing for my proposal…."_

That's right. She had forgotten about his plan of proposing to Kabuto. She massaged her temple and sighed. Where could she go? "I'm sorry, Oro. I forgot. Sorry."

" _Aren't you supposed to be seducing Jiraiya out of his pants? Why would you want to come here?"_

"I….." The sudden recollection of her recent interaction with Jiraiya made her teary again.

" _What's wrong?"_ Orochimaru's voice sounded alarmed. As usual, he was sharp at noticing these things (even over the phone). The slight hiccup in her voice had always made Orochimaru suspicious even when they were little.

"N-Nothing…" she murmured, half-heartedly. A part of her selfishly wanted to take Orochimaru away from his plans so he could be by her side, but she knew it was wrong for her to do. One of them deserved to be happy today.

" _I'm coming over."_

"No. Don't. Just… leave it." She sighed. "Propose to him, Orochimaru, and spend the night being one of those shitty lovebirds. God knows one of us must."

" _W-W-Well… can you explain to me what happened? Please?"_

"You know how I was going to surprise Jiraiya?"

" _Uhuh…"_

"Well, he had his own surprise for me."

" _Which was….?"_

"A whore hiding in our bathroom."

" _What?! Tsunade, are you okay?"_

"No," she said with a heavy heart, "but I will be."

" _Let me come over."_

"No! Besides, I'm not at my apartment. You'll only find Jiraiya there."

" _More reason for me to come over."_

"Don't try to fight Jiraiya, Oro. Please. Just be happy with Kabuto, alright? Do it for me, okay?"

There was hesitation in the other line. " _Alright…."_

"Alright. I'll see you soon, okay?"

" _Yeah… Hey, Tsuna…"_

"Yeah?"

" _Don't do anything stupid, okay? And, uhh, I love you."_

She smiled. "I love you, too. Now go get yourself a fiancé."

He chuckled. " _Alright. I will._ "

Tsunade threw her phone back into her purse when their conversation ended. She didn't have anywhere else to go, but to _that_ place. She always frequented _that_ bar during Fridays, because of their TGIF deals, and because of the serenity the place had. Seeing that she didn't have a better second option, she began to signal out into the road, to seek out her favourite place.

After everything that has transpired, she needed more than a glass of wine. She was going to need a bottle…. or two.

* * *

Tsunade settled into a comfy stool and placed her purse over the polished bar-top. She leaned over, exerted, as the sharply dressed and attentive barman stepped up. At first she was surprised to see that he wasn't the regular barman she was used to seeing, but she remembered that it wasn't Friday - and that she shouldn't care.

"Good evening, ma'am," he greeted with a small smile.

 _Is it really a good evening?_ She wanted to say but she bit her tongue back. There was no point in wallowing in something she couldn't control; telling this bartender her fucked up lovelife isn't going to magically mend her problems. The best thing she could do is live with the consequences Jiraiya caused. And the best medication to numb her pain was alcohol.

It was always alcohol.

"Uh…. can I get a glass of red wine?"

"Certainly," he dipped his head slightly and excused himself.

Tsunade rested her cheek on the palm of her hand and sighed exasperatedly. Being in a bar under an opulent building, lavished with decorations, made her feel conspicuous, especially when she was surrounded with people in dresses and suits. Meanwhile, here she was, dressed in nothing but a trench coat to cover her dignity. Thankfully the hem of her coat just cut above her knees; that was enough to cover up the lingerie she had underneath.

She looked over her shoulder to see if she has caught anyone's attention. Surely enough, she saw an older man practically leering at her, five tables down. By the way they walked, Tsunade could tell that he was with his significant other. And yet, there he was, directing his attention at _her_ , probably imagining what she had under her coat.

Too bad for him, she didn't want anything to do with him.

Her eyes wandered up to the large crystal chandeliers which hung from the ceiling of the bar. Deep, chestnut coloured leather armchairs sat in front of marble-topped mahogany tables, each sporting a small lamp which created a soft, warm glow around the room. The slow burn of candles amid candied dates and figs infused the air with a wealthy extravagance she had grown to accustomed to. The warm scent embraced her senses, making her feel truly unencumbered with her desire to let her hair down.

"Here you are, ma'am." He slid her drink over to her over a napkin. "Enjoy your night."

She swirled her drink around in its glass, watching the deep red liquid slosh from rim to rim. How hard could it be to remove the shackles around her body? She was a single woman, now. She was free to do whatever she wanted without having to think if Jiraiya will approve. But what did she want to do?

That was when she saw _his_ reflection in the bevelled mirror at the back of the bar. He straightened the black tie over his black dress shirt and proceeded to stroll closer to the bar. He was a tall, muscular and handsome stranger who ticked all of her boxes. The soft glow of the table lamps created shadows around his perfect bone structure, creating an alluring and mysterious aura around him, as he approached closer to her. With a quick glance at her, his eyes flickered with unknown intentions and he smirked.

"Hey, Shī," he casually greeted. His voice was deeper than she thought. "What time is my gig?"

Shī, the bartender who served her earlier, broke out of his stoic persona and palmed his face in exasperation. "You're always so forgetful about your gigs." He pulled out a tablet from underneath the bar and skimmed through their schedule until he saw his name. "You're on in five minutes, Kakashi."

Tsunade perked up. _Kakashi_? That was an interesting name. Although, she wouldn't pen someone with such refined features as him to be a scarecrow. He was nothing like his namesake. She bit her lower lip as she tried to glance at him without arousing notice.

Kakashi took a small shot before he walked away from the bar. Her eyes followed his movements until he stopped at the piano at the corner of the room. He opened the fallboard of the piano and ran his delicate fingers along the ivory keys. Other diners fixed their attention onto him when a soft spotlight centred onto him and his piano. He sat down and with a gentle stroke, he began to fill the room with his music.

The light bounced from the polished black canvas of his piano, creating an ethereal glow around him. The piano shimmered like the stars in the night sky, and he was the moon amidst it all. His silver hair cloaked his face, protecting his identity from those who dare pry. He looked saintly under the soft light, but the sharpness of his smirk was anything _but_. He could have been an archetype for a wolf in sheep's clothing and she wouldn't mind.

She wanted to be devoured.

Each movement he made was calculated and precise. Nothing was wasted. He skillfully navigated the crowd with his music, playing with deliberation and passion. Gentle strokes of his fingers catalysed for the bass strings to vibrate and meld together to form the smoothest sound she has ever heard. The melancholic nature of his music made her wistful of her lover, but she was quick to push those desire down with her wine.

She watched the pianist along with a dozen of other people. But his gaze only met one person in the entire room. _Her._ Every now and then, she would catch him look her way, scanning her from head to toe. She suddenly felt unbashful - and quite daring - and she swivelled her chair towards him so he could get a better look at her. He smirked at her boldness, shaking his head lightly as he continued to play.

"Is everybody having a good evening?" he asked through the microphone. His voice sounded like liquid gold to her ears. He oozed with seduction, confidence and masculinity unlike she's seen in a man. He was like a panther - smooth and cunning. "Good," he said after receiving a few cheers. "Tonight is still young. Enjoy it and let the night take you where you least expect it to."

His eyes were staring straight into hers. Cold onyx to molden gold. A juxtaposition with a perfect fit.

Knowing that those words were meant for her sent shivers down her spine.

* * *

She hadn't realised how late it was and by the time she did, it was too late to do anything about it. Her fourth glass of wine was half empty when he finished his stellar performance. He hopped off from the spotlight and melded into the low-lit ambiance the room emanated with. Their eyes met in another round of stalement. This time, she didn't think of yielding. She wanted to watch him melt under her gaze, but he wasn't that easy.

Surely enough, he lent one elbow on the bar and bent closer to her. "So, what's your story?"

She turned and quirked her eyebrow up. "Excuse me?"

"A beautiful woman like you out in a night like this - _alone_ \- isn't common. You're supposed to be over there - in those seats, laughing and flirting with your lover, - not over here drinking your woes away." He sat beside her and turned his seat so he could face her. Their knees brushed past each other as he settled down on his stool.

"Do these pickup lines work for you?"

"It's not a pick up line. It's an observation." Tsunade caught him gazing a little too long at the exposed flesh of her thigh. His eyes slowly raked up her body almost appraisingly, but he did it in such an open manner that she felt her cheeks burn red. The hem of her coat had ridden up since she sat down, revealing the black lacy fabric of her suspenders. With a cough and a casual wiggle of her bottom, she shimmied the fabric back down.

"You like to stare, don't you?" she said, taking a sip of her wine.

"Just as much as you like me staring at you." Before she could scoff, he gestured for the barman to come his way. "Can I have a Manhattan with a twist, please?"

"Certainly."

They watched the man being to pour the whiskey, sweet vermouth, and bitters into the cocktail shaker, before Kakashi extended his hand out to her. "Kakashi Hatake," he said with a small quirk in the corner of his mouth.

She took his hand and shook it, as she mirrored his own smile. "Tsunade Senju."

"So, Tsunade, why _are_ you here tonight? Business or pleasure?" The last word rolled off from his tongue like a droplet of a sweet forbidden fruit. His voice was so deep, so sensual, so smooth, it reminded her of the finest silk she has draped over her body.

In a lithe motion, as if she has practiced it a thousand times, Tsunade fluttered her eyelashes up at him as her lips formed a seductive smirk. "That depends. What will you do if I said I was here for _pleasure_?"

He laughed, low and genuine, showing his movie-star smile. "Then I guess I'll have to show you a good time. I mean, as tonight's host, of course, it's my duty to make sure my audience have a good time."

"Of course," she agreed, sarcastically. "We wouldn't want other women getting the wrong idea."

"No, we do not." His playful smile was replaced with something more serious, more feline as if he was ready to pounce on her. His onyx eyes were dripping with seduction as he continued to mentally undress her.

"I wouldn't want to dirty your reputation. A clean-cut guy like you surely has boundaries set between you and your admirers." Who was she kidding? This man isn't as he seems. She knows it. And he knows that she knows it. He must be bedding women left and right on a whim.

"Sir." Shī slid his drink over to him.

Kakashi dismissed the bartender with a small wave of the hand before he leaned forward to her ear and placed his hand over her thigh, so only she could hear the next words that came out of his sinful mouth: "Oh, I don't mind getting it _dirty_ , Tsunade Senju." His breath felt like lava on her flustered skin, but she didn't allow him the satisfaction to see her lose her composure.

Her lips curved upwards into a smirk against his ear as she whispered, "Well, my night just got interesting."

* * *

To be continued.

Leave a review and tell me what you think! It does help! :)


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